Married people are supposed to be together, aren’t they? Usually when a couple gets married there is a honeymoon, and then a settling in period in a new place that they can call theirs. Not so in our case. This is my second marriage, and it is later in life. We each had — indeed have separate lives 1700 miles apart. We are each at the top of our earnings at jobs that are hard to find replacements…especially at our age. In addition, she has an elderly mother living with her. We knew these things when we got married, and we had a plan. She could retire in two years, put her mother in assisted living and move to be with me. Then we could really start our life together.
We are in that intervening period, and it is not all bad. After all, all we have ever known is a long-distance relationship. We know how to feel close when geographically separated. We keep in touch several times a day by phone and on the internet. We know what the other is doing at nearly any moment. And there are even some advantages to being apart. I will have to admit that I can do more pleasure reading and watching videos than I could if she were here. I can stay later at work without feeling that I am depriving her of my time. There are things she can do when I am not around for her attention. Eventually we will have to give up some of those freedoms, when we are living together. Compromises will ensue.
But there are other times, like now, when I so wish I could be with her. This morning she was going horseback riding with a friend. Riding and care of horses is one of her passions — one that I am learning to enjoy with her. But this morning I received a phone call from her saying that she was hurt badly while riding and was waiting for an ambulance. She sounded together, but that may have been for my benefit. She briefly relayed what had happened. She had been thrown off her horse onto her back, and while she could move her legs, she was in a lot of pain. That was nearly two hours ago, and I have heard nothing since. It is times like these when being apart leaves one feeling so helpless. All I can do is pray and wait.
- The Downsides of Being Apart (cinnwriterblog.wordpress.com)