Daily Prompt: What might have been…

Daily Prompt: The Road Less Traveled.

I had traveled the road for a very long time.  I nearly took a detour once, but drifted back to it.  The second time I finally did depart, and I am such a better person for having done so.  But had I not done that…

The road was familiar, though bumpy and fraught with long times needed for recovery.  Oh, I could handle a little hangover.  Sure, less would get done today at work, but no one would know.  No one would find out that I had snuck a few miniatures of Yukon Jack the evening before…after nearly a six pack of beer.  It was my life…my privilege as an adult to drink when I wanted to.

I looked forward to those times of day, late in the afternoon when a beer would hit my empty stomach.  Such a wonderful feeling.  Or a couple gin and tonics with lime on a hot summer day.  I was happy when, in my state, they lifted the blue laws, and I could now buy alcohol on Sundays.  Although, I didn’t like the fact that I had to wait until noon for the liquor stores to open.

Not everything was joyous about those days, however.  Looking back on my journals I had kept on my computer, there were days and months  — years, in fact — of writing about the guilt I felt about my drinking.  Plans to quit, or to at least cut back.  I was reading about the tenets of Moderation Management, a group that, unlike AA promoted the idea that alcohol abusers could learn to moderate their drinking without quitting altogether.  Yes, that was for me.  The thing is, I never moderated.  When I looked back, I could not remember a day when I did not drink.  You would think hangover days would be dry, but drinking a little just helped get through those days.

God gave me a chance in 2005, when I was in the hospital for nearly a month for diverticulitis, which required surgery, and then corrective surgeries for one that had gone wrong.  I could have used that period of forced abstinence to quit.  …to take a new road.  In fact, alcohol did not appeal to me just after getting home from that.  But I found a way to enjoy it again.

The second period of forced abstinence finally got my attention.  Until that time, I did not understand the appeal of the road without drink.  How could that be any fun?  But after that DWAI, I got a chance to find out.  I was required to go in for random breath tests.  Even then I tried to cheat the system.  It became a game for me.  As an alcohol researcher for several years, I knew a thing or two about the metabolism of alcohol, and I knew how my body handled it.  I could drink a certain number of hours before the test (which I could take any time during the day when my number came up).  But alas, I was busted.  Three times they detected alcohol, and so they put me on Antabuse…a drug which makes you sick if you drink while on it.  And I even tested that!  Believe me, that was not fun!

All the while, God was patiently waiting for me.  He had pointed out the road after the surgeries, and I rejected it.  But this time I listened.  This time I took the road.  I had lost a wife and our house, the latter having more to do with the economic recession than anything else.  There was also a new woman in my life.  A wonderful Christian woman who vowed to be by my side, even if I was to return to drink.  But this time…yes, finally this time, the road selected for me was one I wanted to take.  And I see no reason to ever see that other road again!

(A note here: I am not against drinking for others, and I will socialize with people who drink.  I do not tell people they should not drink.  I just know what is right for me.)


About Cinnwriter

Scientist who enjoys writing fiction, but can hardly find the time for it.
This entry was posted in Daily Prompt and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Daily Prompt: What might have been…

  1. Pingback: The Road Less Traveled: What’s Traveled is Traveled | Khana's Web

  2. Pingback: My Parallel Universe | Random, Assorted and Miscellaneous Thoughts

  3. Pingback: The Runaway | The Jittery Goat

  4. Pingback: The Life of a Gumshoe | Cheri Speak

  5. Pingback: meeting a chatmate | just another outlet

  6. Pingback: Daily Prompt: I Got You, Babe! | cinnwriterblog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s